Oh I think he would like the climate back in sweden
Here are Sven’s top ten worst moments as England coach:
1. April 2002 Ulrika-gate
Just months before the World Cup starts Sven’s affair with TV presenter Ulrika Jonsson hits the headlines.
2. June 2002 Brazil 2 - 1 England
After Ronaldinho’s lucky free kick loops into the top corner (what was David Seaman doing?) England wilt in the afternoon heat in Japan and fail miserably to find an equaliser against ten-man Brazil.
3. October 2002 England 2 - 2 Macedonia
Sven’s men put in a poor performance as Macedonia score a goal direct from a corner (what was David Seaman doing?) and grab a deserved draw.
4. February 2003 England 1 - 3 Australia
Losing to Australia had become a habit (this was before the most recent Ashes series, you know) but surely it couldn’t happen in a football match? It did. I went to that match. Bad decision.
5. March 2003 Kenyon-gate
Sven is spotted having a meeting with Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon. They apparently discuss whether Sven would like to quit the England job to become Chelsea manager. Cue outrage in the tabloid press. Sven sticks with England. Chelsea opt for some bloke in a coat from Portugal.
6. June 2004 Knocked out of Euro 2004 on penalties
Do England players EVER practise penalties before a major tournament? Not if this result (or the ones against Germany in 1990 and 1996, and Argentina in 1998) is anything to go by. Portugal reach the semi-final. An exhausted England team returns home.
7. July 2004 Faria Alam-gate
Where there’s smoke there’s Faria, as we always say. The Alam-bells ring as Sven’s affair with the Football Association secretary is revealed. They’re both unmarried, you know.
8. August 2005 Denmark 4 - 1 England
The Danes bring home the bacon, thrashing sorry England in an ever so important friendly.
9. September 2005 Northern Ireland 1 - 0 England
Can’t blame David Seaman for this one - he'd retired ages ago. Well played Northern Ireland.
10. January 2006 Fake sheikh-gate
The News of the World decides to see if Sven will fall for the old ‘dodgy foreigner’ routine. He does, revealing his, er, apparently explosive views on England players (Wayne Rooney had a tough upbringing, shock horror; and, amazingly, Michael Owen is paid a regular wage by his employer Newcastle United). The game is finally up as the FA calls time on Sven for one indiscretion too many - he'll be leaving after the World Cup. His crime? Sven alleges that the odd transfer deal in English football may have included an illegal payment. Public enquiry, anyone?
? think graham souness will be looking for a job soon 