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Post by big sheep on Dec 12, 2006 10:48:09 GMT
lol lol lol lol her jokes are always bad
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Post by reg on Dec 12, 2006 11:46:02 GMT
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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Post by specialk on Dec 12, 2006 12:31:00 GMT
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?" now that was funny lol
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Post by big sheep on Dec 15, 2006 9:16:38 GMT
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.
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Post by reg on Dec 15, 2006 11:47:47 GMT
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him. Theres a thought 4 of us could have a Fluffy leg each at xmas
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jan 16, 2007 15:31:10 GMT
Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?" asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter.
The assistant looked at him and asked: "Are you Irish?"
“If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? demanded the Irishman indignantly." Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?" then, warming to his theme, he went on:
"Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would ya? Would Ya?" The assistant said: "Well no".
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear. "And if I asked you for frog’s legs, would you ask me if I was French?
What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't," conceded the assistant.
So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?"
The assistant replied: Because you're in f**king Homebase."
#roflmao# #roflmao# #roflmao# #roflmao# #roflmao#
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Post by reg on Jan 18, 2007 11:20:53 GMT
Five pieces of advice for women 1. It’s important that a man helps you around the house and has a job 2. It’s important that a man makes you laugh 3. It’s important to find a man you can count on and who doesn't lie to you 4. It’s important that a man loves you and spoils you 5. It’s important that these four men don't know each other
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jan 22, 2007 10:32:18 GMT
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."
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Post by reg on Jan 23, 2007 11:36:30 GMT
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Feb 5, 2007 12:19:34 GMT
The magic forest Three girls are walking in a magical forest. Suddenly, a witch comes out of the woods, and tells them: "Each of you has to say one good thing about herself. If you lie, i will make you disappear!".
The first girl, a brunette, says: "I think I am a very kind and toughtfull person". *Pooph*- she disappears.
The second girl, red-haired, says: "I think i am very sexy". *Pooph*- she also disappears.
The third girl, a blonde, says: "Well, I think..." *Pooph*- she is gone...
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Post by specialk on Feb 20, 2007 19:10:10 GMT
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his Word, he made contact, "Mary,...Mary..." "Is that you, Fred?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to The golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again"
"Fred, you surely must be in Heaven"
"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Spain!"
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martin
Minor Meet God
Christmas comes early
Secret Spurs Fan
Posts: 871
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Post by martin on Feb 23, 2007 22:25:55 GMT
#roflmao# #roflmao# #roflmao#
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