Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jul 4, 2006 14:21:56 GMT
What I did on my summer holiday
>By Theo Walcott Esq aged 17 1/3
>
>I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown
>up's.
>It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live with
>his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen does live there,
>and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make
>Uncle Owen cry if I do.
>
>In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains.
>We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle
>Frank has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get
>their underpants mixed up all the time.
>
>On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and
>wants to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does
>Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.
>
>Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle
>Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum says Uncle David talks
>like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses
>and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me
>some pop.
>
>In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says we
>beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time
>ago.
>
>While the grown up's went to play football so I went shopping with
>Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got
>herself a little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any
>and threw it away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play
>with Brooklyn.
>She say's she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I
>think she was telling fibs.
>
>I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he
>bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands on
>it.
>All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays
>with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy,
>that's why I got taken on holiday.
>
>The grown up's went to play Football against somebody called Sweden,
>Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk
>to him.
>Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is
>from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night. Uncle
>Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle
>Peter is a
>giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at football
>though.
>
>Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it got better
>so they let him play football. Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not
>like it.
>He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I should while we are
>here, they are too tight for me.
>
>All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood
>on somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee.
>They are all saying that we have to go home now.
>
>Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him
>stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.
>By Theo Walcott Esq aged 17 1/3
>
>I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown
>up's.
>It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live with
>his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen does live there,
>and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make
>Uncle Owen cry if I do.
>
>In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains.
>We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle
>Frank has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get
>their underpants mixed up all the time.
>
>On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and
>wants to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does
>Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.
>
>Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle
>Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum says Uncle David talks
>like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses
>and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me
>some pop.
>
>In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says we
>beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time
>ago.
>
>While the grown up's went to play football so I went shopping with
>Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got
>herself a little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any
>and threw it away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play
>with Brooklyn.
>She say's she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I
>think she was telling fibs.
>
>I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he
>bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands on
>it.
>All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays
>with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy,
>that's why I got taken on holiday.
>
>The grown up's went to play Football against somebody called Sweden,
>Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk
>to him.
>Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is
>from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night. Uncle
>Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle
>Peter is a
>giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at football
>though.
>
>Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it got better
>so they let him play football. Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not
>like it.
>He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I should while we are
>here, they are too tight for me.
>
>All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood
>on somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee.
>They are all saying that we have to go home now.
>
>Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him
>stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.
