Little*Chick*
'The Big Mini Mod'
Even better than my Mum
x..mwaw..x
Posts: 1,389
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Post by Little*Chick* on Dec 2, 2005 18:00:54 GMT
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
Did you know that according to the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", Santa has eleven reindeer? Sure, in the introduction it goes "There's Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen..." That makes eight reindeer. Then there's Rudolph, of course, so that makes nine. Then there's Olive. You know, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh..." That makes ten. The eleventh is Howe. You know, "Then Howe the reindeer loved him..." Eleven reindeer. The proof is in the song!
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 2, 2005 18:18:35 GMT
A Tradition Explained
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. Needless to say Santa wasn't in the best mood. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa went to the door expecting another problem. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree there just to cheer Santa up. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Post by reg on Dec 2, 2005 19:37:17 GMT
Xmas knock knocks
Knock Knock Who's there ? Wenceslas Wenceslas who ? Wenceslas train home ? Knock Knock Who's there ? Snow Snow who ? Snow business like show business ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Wayne Wayne who ? Wayne in a manger... ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Donut Donut who ? Donut open till Christmas ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Oakham Oakham who ? Oakham all ye faithfull... ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Avery Avery who ? Avery merry Christmas ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Holly Holly who ? Holly-days are here again ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Rudolph Rudolph who ? Money is the Rudolph of all evil ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Igloo Igloo who ? Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie... ! Knock Knock Who's there ? Mary Mary who ? Mary Christmas !
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Little*Chick*
'The Big Mini Mod'
Even better than my Mum
x..mwaw..x
Posts: 1,389
|
Post by Little*Chick* on Dec 2, 2005 19:53:00 GMT
nice1s reg
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Post by specialk on Dec 2, 2005 22:03:48 GMT
There was once a dyslexic occultist who sold his soul to santa
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Post by Admin on Dec 3, 2005 0:52:46 GMT
There was once a dyslexic occultist who sold his soul to santa lol... it took a while but I finally got it..
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 4, 2005 17:31:02 GMT
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he shouted. Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!"
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Post by specialk on Dec 4, 2005 17:55:23 GMT
hahahahaha that made me laugh kev Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a £5 note lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?? Santa of course, the other two don't exist!
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Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Dec 4, 2005 17:55:49 GMT
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 4, 2005 17:56:57 GMT
#laugh# #laugh#
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Little*Chick*
'The Big Mini Mod'
Even better than my Mum
x..mwaw..x
Posts: 1,389
|
Post by Little*Chick* on Dec 4, 2005 18:00:18 GMT
lolololol
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 4, 2005 18:01:52 GMT
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today ?" Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." and Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this. and Robert said, "Well.....every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
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