Little*Chick*
'The Big Mini Mod'
Even better than my Mum
x..mwaw..x
Posts: 1,389
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Post by Little*Chick* on Dec 4, 2005 18:18:05 GMT
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today ?" Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." and Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this. and Robert said, "Well.....every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!" PMSL hahahaha
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Post by reg on Dec 5, 2005 17:04:50 GMT
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
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Post by reg on Dec 5, 2005 17:07:10 GMT
You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When... 1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 6. You strike a match and light your nose. 7. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad. 8. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!" 9. You hear a duck quacking and it's you. 10. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. 11. You refill your glass from the fish bowl. 12. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place. 13. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket. 14. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror. 15. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch. 16. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget. 17. You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan. 18. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear. 19. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant. 20. You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.
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Post by specialk on Dec 5, 2005 19:05:55 GMT
rofl - and sad but true how many of them ring a bell somewhere
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 5, 2005 19:47:27 GMT
What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake? Tarzipan !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ? No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ? "Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !
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Post by specialk on Dec 6, 2005 10:07:25 GMT
what do you call a pair of grandmaster chess players - boasting about their game in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! ps I apologise already - that was baaaaaaaddddd
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Post by happy on Dec 6, 2005 10:09:46 GMT
#imubashing# #jump# #imubashing#
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 6, 2005 15:44:49 GMT
What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A sony sleighstation
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Post by specialk on Dec 6, 2005 22:44:56 GMT
Optimist vs. Pessimist
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 7, 2005 16:56:37 GMT
lmao............ #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# good one K
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