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Jokes
Jan 17, 2006 10:56:10 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jan 17, 2006 10:56:10 GMT
WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST? > > > >The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning > >and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which > part > >of your body goes first?" > > > >Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." > > > >"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" > > > >Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in > >front of you and God just takes you hands first." > > > >"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said. > > > >Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your > >legs." > > > >The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, > Little > >Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?" > > > >Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the > >other > >night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, > "Oh > >God, I'm > >coming! If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her." > > > >The nun fainted
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Jokes
Jan 17, 2006 11:02:17 GMT
Post by specialk on Jan 17, 2006 11:02:17 GMT
just picking self up off floor hahahha
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 9:28:25 GMT
Post by specialk on Jan 20, 2006 9:28:25 GMT
What do you call 10 Blondes standing in a row ear to ear?
Wind tunnel.
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 14:34:53 GMT
Post by baddabing on Jan 20, 2006 14:34:53 GMT
A horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky and some peanuts...
The barman looks at the horse and says "why the long face"?
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 14:41:22 GMT
Post by specialk on Jan 20, 2006 14:41:22 GMT
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 14:53:29 GMT
Post by baddabing on Jan 20, 2006 14:53:29 GMT
A young Irishman sat at a pub in the New World drinking beer and conversin' with the barkeep. Another comes in and sits besides him. He says how you do and hears the lilt and says you be Irish? Yes I am. The first man yells barkeep give us another round and one for my friend here he's from the mother country as well. The second man asks-so where in the old country ye from. Dublin responds the first. Dublin you say - so am I and the second man hollers barkeep bring us another round and a shot of your best Irish Whiskey for me and my friend here. Afterwards the first man asks from where in Dublin and the second man responds with the street and the first man says well I'll be - so am I and yells barkeep another pair of beers and Irish Whiskey for the pair of us. The phone behind the bar rings and the barkeep answers it. The owner of the pub asks - how is business. The barkeep responds - not too bad - The O'Malley twins are here getting drunk again.
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 14:54:58 GMT
Post by specialk on Jan 20, 2006 14:54:58 GMT
#jump# #jump# #jump# #jump# #jump# #jump#
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 14:55:41 GMT
Post by baddabing on Jan 20, 2006 14:55:41 GMT
A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"Father, forgive me for I have Thinned."
"You've Thinnned?"
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"
"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 15:04:56 GMT
Post by baddabing on Jan 20, 2006 15:04:56 GMT
An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies.
When the interview was over the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman.
"Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?"
After thinking for a while the Irishman took the pencil and drew a canopy of leaves on top of the three pairs of lines, and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: "But that is not nine!"
"Oh yes it is", said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, "Tree + Tree + Tree make nine!"
The interviewer handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99.
After thinking for a longer while the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: "But that is not ninety nine!"
"Oh yes it is", said the Irishman, "Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety nine."
The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all, therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100.
After thinking for a considerably longer time the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil and drew a little blop on the bottom right hand side of each three and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: "But that is not 100!" "Oh yes it most certainly is", said the Irishman with a much broader Irish accent, "Dirty tree and a turd + dirty tree and turd + dirty tree and a turd make 100!!!!!"
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 15:11:02 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 20, 2006 15:11:02 GMT
ouch.. but funny..
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 16:01:43 GMT
Post by specialk on Jan 20, 2006 16:01:43 GMT
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Jokes
Jan 20, 2006 16:20:37 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jan 20, 2006 16:20:37 GMT
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