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Jokes
Mar 2, 2006 11:37:15 GMT
Post by specialk on Mar 2, 2006 11:37:15 GMT
Medically speaking,XX is Adam,XY is Eve and YYY Delilah. hahahahah - some of the best are the one liners
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Jokes
Mar 2, 2006 12:35:30 GMT
Post by baddabing on Mar 2, 2006 12:35:30 GMT
A man walked into a bar with his pet monkey. The bartender said, "You can't bring that monkey in here!" The man said, "Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble."
Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The bartender yelled, "Hey, he just ate my cue ball. No one can play pool anymore! Get out!"
The man left but came back one week later with his monkey. He apologized to the bartender and promised no more trouble. The bartender let him and the monkey stay.
Later that night, the monkey walked over to a bowl of grapes, put one in his ass, and then ate it. The bartender said, "That's disgusting! Why did he do that!"
The man said, "Since he swallowed the cue ball, he sizes everything up before he eats it."
#roflmao#
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Jokes
Mar 2, 2006 13:18:51 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Mar 2, 2006 13:18:51 GMT
lmao............. #roflmao# #roflmao#
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Jokes
Mar 2, 2006 13:20:24 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Mar 2, 2006 13:20:24 GMT
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam." ;D
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Jokes
Mar 2, 2006 13:24:42 GMT
Post by baddabing on Mar 2, 2006 13:24:42 GMT
#eek# #roflmao#
Hunter No Gun
There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear. Only he shows up without a gun. The other hunters are very curious. "How you gonna get a bear without a gun?" they ask.
"Do you have a knife?"
"No," says the guy.
"Do you have a club?"
"No," says the guy.
"Don't you worry. I'm gonna get myself a bear. Just wait right here and see."
The guy leaves the cabin and disappears into the hills for several hours.
Eventually he happens upon a bear asleep in his den and he kicks the bear and gets it really angry. As the bear wakes up, he starts to chase after the guy, so the guy starts running back towards the cabin.
Finally the hunters hear him running down the hill and yelling, "Open the cabin door! Open the door!"
They open the door and the guy runs into the cabin and holds the door open behind him. To the terror of the other hunters, an angry bear follows close behind, running into the cabin, too.
Then the guy slams the door shut, and says, "You skin that one. I'll go get another."
#roflmao#
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Jokes
Mar 2, 2006 13:34:30 GMT
Post by specialk on Mar 2, 2006 13:34:30 GMT
lol cys heheheheheheheh
hahahah mr bing so many laughs in one day ! hehehehehehe
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Jokes
Apr 11, 2006 12:00:32 GMT
Post by baddabing on Apr 11, 2006 12:00:32 GMT
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized with her and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
#wavey#
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Jokes
Apr 11, 2006 12:09:42 GMT
Post by baddabing on Apr 11, 2006 12:09:42 GMT
Animal Snooker
There was an elephant a snake and a gorilla in the jungle, the snake said, "Shall we have a game of snooker?" The elephant replied "How can we play snooker when we haven't got a table."
So the snake said, "We can pretend, instead of hitting the ball, we'll each do a trick, whoever does the best trick will get the most points."
The gorilla said "OK I'll go first, I'll climb up that tree swing around that branch 3 times do a double somersault and land on my feet, that's got to be worth the black ball and that's 7 points."
The elephant said "No it's not worth 7 points because your good at climbing trees, we'll give you the blue and that's worth 5 points."
The gorilla said, "OK" and off he went up the tree, he swung round the branch 3 times did a double somersault and landed on his feet.
The elephant said "I'll climb up the tree swing around the branch twice do a single somersault and land on my feet, that's got to be worth 7 points because I can't climb trees very well."
So the snake and the gorillas said, "OK if you can do that we'll give you 7 points."
The elephant went up the tree swung round the branch twice did the somersault and landed on his feet with an almighty bang.
The snake said, "That was brilliant," "So what are you going to do snake" the gorilla asked.
"Well, I'll go up the elephants bum through his intestine and out of his trunk, that's got to be worth 7 points" said the snake.
The gorilla said, "If you can do that we'll give you 7 points." so off went the snake up the elephants bum.
The gorilla got hold of the elephants trunk and stuck it up his bum and said "That's got him Snookered!!".
#roflmao#
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Jokes
Apr 11, 2006 13:46:35 GMT
Post by specialk on Apr 11, 2006 13:46:35 GMT
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Jokes
Apr 12, 2006 11:29:00 GMT
Post by baddabing on Apr 12, 2006 11:29:00 GMT
Lion Tamer A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment; chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?" The young man replies. "No problem, just get that lion out of the way." ;D
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Jokes
Apr 12, 2006 14:06:27 GMT
Post by reg on Apr 12, 2006 14:06:27 GMT
#laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# Sounds like Spursy ;D
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Jokes
Apr 12, 2006 15:54:01 GMT
Post by specialk on Apr 12, 2006 15:54:01 GMT
lol lucky lion hehehehee
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