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Jokes
Sept 18, 2005 18:31:46 GMT
Post by toasted on Sept 18, 2005 18:31:46 GMT
A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President Bush and Colin Powell sitting together. He introduces himself and asks President Bush, "How goes the War effort, Sir?" President Bush answers: "We're getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqis and one blonde." The guy asks in astonishment, "Why are you killing one blonde?" With a smug grin on his face, President Bush turns to Colin Powell and says: "See, I told you people wouldn't care about the Iraqis."
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Jokes
Sept 20, 2005 21:11:05 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Sept 20, 2005 21:11:05 GMT
A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.
The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!"
"Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?"
"Just gave him some pills," replied the rancher.
"What kind of pills?" asked the banker.
"I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."
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Jokes
Sept 20, 2005 22:33:17 GMT
Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Sept 20, 2005 22:33:17 GMT
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 9:27:24 GMT
Post by specialk on Sept 21, 2005 9:27:24 GMT
hahahaha kev good one here is a blonde one: blonde math A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper. The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed." She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 11:01:59 GMT
Post by reg on Sept 21, 2005 11:01:59 GMT
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?'
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!'
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?'
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, 'Five foot two!'
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?'
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, 'Mandy!'
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?'
'Ohh that!', replies the blonde, 'That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....''
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 13:10:21 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Sept 21, 2005 13:10:21 GMT
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 19:42:09 GMT
Post by chunkymonkey on Sept 21, 2005 19:42:09 GMT
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a pub. The landlord says 'is this some sort of a joke?'.
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 20:41:38 GMT
Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Sept 21, 2005 20:41:38 GMT
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 20:46:33 GMT
Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Sept 21, 2005 20:46:33 GMT
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."
The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?"
So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 20:46:41 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Sept 21, 2005 20:46:41 GMT
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says: "Oh, my fault, you okay?” The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 20:52:22 GMT
Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Sept 21, 2005 20:52:22 GMT
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says: "Oh, my fault, you okay?” The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!" ROFLMAO
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2005 21:19:56 GMT
Post by chunkymonkey on Sept 21, 2005 21:19:56 GMT
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says: "Oh, my fault, you okay?” The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!" Sorry, as an former a-level chemistry student I'm gonna have to correct this one... two electrons are walking down the street and one says 'i think i've lost my charge', the other says 'are you sure?', the first says 'yea, i'm positive!'
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