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Jokes
May 16, 2006 9:01:01 GMT
Post by wonderwoman on May 16, 2006 9:01:01 GMT
A team of health inspectors has been sent to investigate reports of food poisoning in the Marriot Hotel after Spurs appeal against their defeat with rival London club West Ham, but all that has been found is sour grapes and hard cheese #laugh#
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Jokes
May 16, 2006 9:20:36 GMT
Post by specialk on May 16, 2006 9:20:36 GMT
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Jokes
May 16, 2006 18:10:03 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 16, 2006 18:10:03 GMT
A team of health inspectors has been sent to investigate reports of food poisoning in the Marriot Hotel after Spurs appeal against their defeat with rival London club West Ham, but all that has been found is sour grapes and hard cheese #laugh# ............pity we wont be playing Sunderland next year ;D
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May 16, 2006 19:58:35 GMT
Post by wonderwoman on May 16, 2006 19:58:35 GMT
ahhhh shaddap!! #laugh#
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Jokes
May 16, 2006 22:13:17 GMT
Post by specialk on May 16, 2006 22:13:17 GMT
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Jokes
May 17, 2006 15:01:30 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 17, 2006 15:01:30 GMT
ooo did sunderland get relegated then? awwwwww shhh........... #roflmao# #roflmao# #party0049# #party0049#
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Jokes
May 18, 2006 9:50:22 GMT
Post by reg on May 18, 2006 9:50:22 GMT
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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Jokes
May 24, 2006 11:15:11 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 24, 2006 11:15:11 GMT
A guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."
Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."
2nd guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."
Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."
This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out."
3rd guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you."
The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?"
3rd guy "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on."
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Jokes
May 24, 2006 11:38:20 GMT
Post by reg on May 24, 2006 11:38:20 GMT
A blonde guy came home early from work and heard strange noises coming from his bedroom. He rushed upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?' he asked. "I'm having a heart attack !" the woman cried. He rushed downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he was dialling, his four year old son came up and said, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he doesn't have any clothes on.".
The man slammed down the phone, stormed back upstairs, back into his bedroom, past his crying wife and ripped open the closet door. Sure enough,there was his brother, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You stupid idiot!" he shouted, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!."
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Jokes
May 24, 2006 11:39:41 GMT
Post by baddabing on May 24, 2006 11:39:41 GMT
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled." #roflmao# #roflmao#
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Jokes
May 24, 2006 11:43:49 GMT
Post by baddabing on May 24, 2006 11:43:49 GMT
I know it's an old joke but it still makes me chuckle...
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks:
"So whaddaya got in the bag?"
The man responded by reaching into the bag and pulling out a little man, about one foot high, and he sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and this time pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he placed in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a georgious piece by Mozart. Now the bartender is extremely curious about this odd sight, so he asks the man:
"Where the hell'd ya get that?"
The man responded by reaching into the paper bag, but this time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says:
"Here. Rub it."
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke, then a beautiful genie is standing before him.
"I will grant you one wish," she says.
The bartender gets excited by having a wish from a real genie. He had always dreamed about it, but now it's actually happening. So without even hesitating, he says:
"I want a million bucks."
So the genie nods her head and disappears in another gust of smoke. A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks. The bartender turns to the man and says:
"Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million BUCKS, not a million DUCKS."
To this the man responeded:
"No *censored*! Do you really think, for just one moment, that I would have ever wished for a TWELVE INCH PIANIST?!!"
#roflmao#
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Jokes
May 24, 2006 11:44:04 GMT
Post by wonderwoman on May 24, 2006 11:44:04 GMT
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
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