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Post by baddabing on Sept 13, 2006 10:33:57 GMT
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL." haha ouch #roflmao#
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Post by baddabing on Sept 13, 2006 10:47:21 GMT
here's one for you reg..
How many pot growers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they use fluorescent bulbs instead. #roflmao#
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Post by reg on Sept 13, 2006 10:49:40 GMT
here's one for you reg.. How many pot growers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they use fluorescent bulbs instead. #roflmao# Do they use Electric or flower power ? #roflmao#
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Post by baddabing on Sept 13, 2006 11:05:50 GMT
here's one for you reg.. How many pot growers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they use fluorescent bulbs instead. #roflmao# Do they use Electric or flower power ? #roflmao# Flower power, it's all free maaan. #KatieHolmes_anim#
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Post by specialk on Sept 15, 2006 10:46:00 GMT
lol
Why parents drink....
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a policman would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *.............."ME."
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Sept 16, 2006 12:21:37 GMT
lol
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Post by specialk on Oct 4, 2006 8:21:31 GMT
A professer gave his class an assignment, and the only reason for not finishing it would be if you were sick or a close relative died.
So this guy raised his hand and said " What about sexual exhaustion?"
The whole class burst out laughing.
After the laughter died down the professer replied " Maybe you should consider using the other hand!!!!!"
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 4, 2006 9:29:25 GMT
A guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."
Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."
2nd guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."
Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."
This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out."
3rd guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you."
The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?"
3rd guy "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on."
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 14, 2006 11:42:21 GMT
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one. The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
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Post by specialk on Oct 16, 2006 10:46:54 GMT
lol #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Post by baddabing on Oct 16, 2006 13:11:30 GMT
A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?"
"I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?"
"I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink less."
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Post by specialk on Oct 16, 2006 13:47:10 GMT
hahahahahahah grrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaannnnnnn lol
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