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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 2, 2006 9:10:30 GMT
A cowboy moseys into a saloon and orders a whiskey. When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replies, "They've all gone to the hanging." The cowboy asked, "Who are they hanging?" The bartender answered, "Brown Paper Pete." "What kind of name is Brown Paper Pete," the cowboy asked. The bartender explained, "Well, he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants and brown paper shoes." The cowboy said, &"That's weird. What are they hanging him for?" The bartender said, "Rustling!"
#roflmao# #roflmao#
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Post by reg on Jun 2, 2006 10:21:00 GMT
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless.
The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
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Post by specialk on Jun 2, 2006 16:54:40 GMT
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Post by reg on Jun 8, 2006 8:54:44 GMT
There once was a boy called Spursy who didnt have a body, he only had a head. Then it came to his 18th birthday, so his dad who felt sorry for him took for a pint down the local pub, Spursy was very excited about having his 1st drink of alcohol , so the proud father came in and placed Spursy down on the bar and ordered 2 pints. Then the father poured the beer into Spursys mouth, and once he'd finished a body had grown onto Spursys head, so he kept drinking and by the end of the night he was a normal man, with arms, legs, toes and fingers, but Spursy kept on drinking. The lesson you should learn from this is to always 'Quit while your a head'
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Post by specialk on Jun 11, 2006 8:04:27 GMT
Only three doors An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 11, 2006 9:59:11 GMT
typical trolley dolly ;D
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Post by specialk on Jun 11, 2006 19:04:25 GMT
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 11, 2006 22:52:33 GMT
oh i say...........chicken or beef
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Post by reg on Jun 12, 2006 10:51:08 GMT
Why won't elephants use computers?
because they're afraid of the mouse! haha!
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Post by specialk on Jun 12, 2006 11:00:19 GMT
lol reg
what do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
bl**dy great holes all over australia
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Post by specialk on Jun 13, 2006 18:01:55 GMT
American Football lightbulb How many American Football players does it take to change a light bulb? The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Post by reg on Jun 14, 2006 18:05:53 GMT
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts!
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