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Post by reg on May 24, 2006 12:06:05 GMT
ouch reg - here's a bad one for you... I was doing some experiments in the laboratory the other day. I dipped a gazelle in some Nitric acid - it melted but nothing too exciting happened. I sprinkled shrimps into Sulphur - they got burnt slightly, but it wasn't that spectacular. I then dropped a Panda into some Ammonia - suddenly, there was pandemonium everywhere! I am ready to continue... Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Post by baddabing on May 24, 2006 12:09:43 GMT
ouch reg - here's a bad one for you... I was doing some experiments in the laboratory the other day. I dipped a gazelle in some Nitric acid - it melted but nothing too exciting happened. I sprinkled shrimps into Sulphur - they got burnt slightly, but it wasn't that spectacular. I then dropped a Panda into some Ammonia - suddenly, there was pandemonium everywhere! I am ready to continue... Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates. #omg# #roflmao# u had ur CORNflakes today reg? #roflmao#
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Post by reg on May 24, 2006 12:19:05 GMT
Whats the best way to carve wood? whittle by whittle
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Post by baddabing on May 25, 2006 11:19:28 GMT
A man went to see a psychiatrist. "I keep on dreaming I'm a teepee or a wigwam," he said. "I know the problem," said the psychiatrist. "You're two tents."
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Post by baddabing on May 25, 2006 11:21:10 GMT
Three pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, but the barman says, "We don't serve string here."
So the second one tries and is turned away in the same way.
The third piece of string lies down on the ground, rolls around, gets itself all frayed and tangled up, then goes and orders a beer.
The barman, by now exasperated, demands, "Look, are you a piece of string?"
And the string replies, "No, I’m a frayed knot."
boom! boom!
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Post by specialk on May 25, 2006 11:27:11 GMT
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Post by baddabing on May 25, 2006 11:33:59 GMT
don't encourage me.... One day, sometime after the Flood, as Noah was quietly tending his fields, he heard a Voice from Above. "Noah," the Voice said, "I want you to build me another Ark." "OK," said Noah. "What size should it be?" "This time," said the Voice, "I want twenty-two storeys. And when you've finished, I don't want any of those elephants and giraffes. I want you to fill the Ark with water and then just have fish." "Fish!" said Noah. "Are you sure?" "Yes," said the Voice. "In fact, I don't want any sort of fish. I just want carp." "You want an Ark with twenty-two storeys filled with carp?" said Noah. "Why do you want that?" "Well," said the Voice, "I just fancied a multi-storey carp Ark." #roflmao#
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Post by baddabing on May 25, 2006 12:03:22 GMT
A lion walked into a bar and demanded a beer. But the bartender said, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve lions."
Then the lion said, "Give me a beer, you stupid idiot."
And the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve rude lions."
Then the lion shouted, "GIVE ME A BEER, YOU STUPID IDIOT."
And the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve rude, angry lions."
Then the lion said, "OK, if you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that girl over there."
But the bartender said, "Go ahead. I'm still not going to serve you."
So the lion went over and ate the girl. Then he came back and said, "Right, you idiot, now give me a beer."
But the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve rude, angry lions that are on drugs."
The lion said, "Hey! I'm not on drugs!"
"Well," said the bartender, "you are now. That was a bar BI TCH you ate."
#roflmao# #party0049# #party0049# #woohoo7hc#
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Post by specialk on May 25, 2006 12:07:58 GMT
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Post by specialk on May 31, 2006 7:53:48 GMT
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 31, 2006 8:01:27 GMT
#laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Post by reg on Jun 1, 2006 10:45:18 GMT
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where ... she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to checkout, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly.”
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