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Jokes
Nov 27, 2005 13:55:15 GMT
Post by specialk on Nov 27, 2005 13:55:15 GMT
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Jokes
Nov 27, 2005 16:09:02 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Nov 27, 2005 16:09:02 GMT
There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?" ;D ;D
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Jokes
Nov 29, 2005 12:22:23 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Nov 29, 2005 12:22:23 GMT
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah,that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"
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Jokes
Nov 30, 2005 8:21:31 GMT
Post by specialk on Nov 30, 2005 8:21:31 GMT
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse. "I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," Amber responded.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?" Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
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Jokes
Nov 30, 2005 8:23:17 GMT
Post by peacesells on Nov 30, 2005 8:23:17 GMT
LOL!!!!!
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Jokes
Nov 30, 2005 16:04:42 GMT
Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Nov 30, 2005 16:04:42 GMT
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse. "I want to get weighed," replied Amber. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," Amber responded. By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?" Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy." #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Jokes
Dec 1, 2005 1:11:08 GMT
Post by toasted on Dec 1, 2005 1:11:08 GMT
hahaha #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Jokes
Dec 1, 2005 1:14:59 GMT
Post by toasted on Dec 1, 2005 1:14:59 GMT
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a good place. Then the American says, "Yeah,that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!" "Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!" #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Jokes
Dec 1, 2005 1:17:30 GMT
Post by toasted on Dec 1, 2005 1:17:30 GMT
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!" Hahahaha Poor bugger #eek# #eek#
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Jokes
Dec 1, 2005 1:39:08 GMT
Post by toasted on Dec 1, 2005 1:39:08 GMT
In the grotto, Santa asks a little girl what she'd like for Christmas. "I'd like Barbie and Action Man". "Doesnt Barbie come with Ken? " asked Santa. "No," says the little girl, "only with Action Man, she fakes it with Ken." ;D
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Jokes
Dec 1, 2005 11:25:01 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 1, 2005 11:25:01 GMT
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Jokes
Dec 5, 2005 20:40:24 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 5, 2005 20:40:24 GMT
A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class."
"I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?"
The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"
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