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Jokes
Oct 12, 2005 21:15:07 GMT
Post by Bizzie Lizzie on Oct 12, 2005 21:15:07 GMT
A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.
He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. "A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" she asks?
He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."
It's dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "Naw, I'm still not hungry."
"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.
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Jokes
Oct 12, 2005 22:01:53 GMT
Post by toasted on Oct 12, 2005 22:01:53 GMT
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2005 5:49:21 GMT
Post by specialk on Oct 13, 2005 5:49:21 GMT
hahahahahhahh good one liz -anyone ever tried any of these?
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2005 7:49:00 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 13, 2005 7:49:00 GMT
hahahahahhahh good one liz -anyone ever tried any of these? you really expect anyone to say yes
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2005 10:05:59 GMT
Post by specialk on Oct 13, 2005 10:05:59 GMT
hahahahahhahh good one liz -anyone ever tried any of these? you really expect anyone to say yes well ok then has anyone ever been hospitalised for something they said to someone else hahahahahaha ;D
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2005 19:04:46 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 13, 2005 19:04:46 GMT
you really expect anyone to say yes well ok then has anyone ever been hospitalised for something they said to someone else hahahahahaha ;D someone said to me " watch that bus" and i replied "what bus".............hospital #laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Jokes
Oct 14, 2005 17:44:38 GMT
Post by specialk on Oct 14, 2005 17:44:38 GMT
hahahahaha Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him. "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, still in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked, "How does that feel?" He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
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Jokes
Oct 16, 2005 8:40:43 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 16, 2005 8:40:43 GMT
#laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Jokes
Oct 18, 2005 9:30:24 GMT
Post by reg on Oct 18, 2005 9:30:24 GMT
Grandma Needs a Pet
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
He whispered, "I'M LONELY TOO, BUY ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY! The old lady figured--WHAT THE HECK, she hadn't found anything else.
She bought the frog and put him in the car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY."
So the old lady figured WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous sexy young handsome prince.
THE PRINCE THEN KISSED THE OLD LADY BACK..........AND GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?
COME ON.... GUESS!
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON
SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST MOTEL SHE COULD FIND.
She's old.......NOT DEAD!!!!!
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Jokes
Oct 18, 2005 9:58:21 GMT
Post by baddabing on Oct 18, 2005 9:58:21 GMT
Grandma Needs a Pet An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her. He whispered, "I'M LONELY TOO, BUY ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY! The old lady figured--WHAT THE HECK, she hadn't found anything else. She bought the frog and put him in the car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY." So the old lady figured WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog. IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous sexy young handsome prince. THE PRINCE THEN KISSED THE OLD LADY BACK..........AND GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO? COME ON.... GUESS! OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST MOTEL SHE COULD FIND. She's old.......NOT DEAD!!!!! hahahaha
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Jokes
Oct 18, 2005 10:03:38 GMT
Post by baddabing on Oct 18, 2005 10:03:38 GMT
Here's one for you: There is a pit-bull, bull-dog, and a black lab all locked up in the local dog pound. The pit-bull decides to speak freely and says, "Ya know, it wasn't my fault I bit that kid's head off. Them kids have been throwing rocks at me for years and I just couldn't help but jump the fence one day and go after them. Now they are going to put me to sleep." The bull-dog speaks up and says, "I'm in for a similar incident. My master just wasn't paying any attention to me since that stinkin baby came along and one day while it was crawlin around on the floor I bit its leg off. Now they are going to put me to sleep too." Both the pit-bull and bull-dog look at the black lab and ask, "What are you in for?" The lab replies, "Well the other day my master's lady was walking around the house naked all day long cleaning the house. When she went into the bathroom and bent over to clean the tub I just couldn't take it anymore. I came up behind her, put my front paws on her back and mounted her." The pit-bull asks, "So when are you due to be put to sleep?" And the lab replies, "Oh, I'm not in to be put to sleep, I'm just in to have my nails trimmed and groomed."
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Jokes
Oct 18, 2005 10:32:43 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 18, 2005 10:32:43 GMT
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