Little*Chick*
'The Big Mini Mod'
Even better than my Mum
x..mwaw..x
Posts: 1,389
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Jokes
May 5, 2007 20:07:44 GMT
Post by Little*Chick* on May 5, 2007 20:07:44 GMT
#roflmao# #roflmao# #roflmao# omg lol
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Jokes
May 9, 2007 18:29:40 GMT
Post by specialk on May 9, 2007 18:29:40 GMT
hehehehehe good old blondes
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Jokes
May 10, 2007 8:42:07 GMT
Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 10, 2007 8:42:07 GMT
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have s*x with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
;D
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martin
Minor Meet God
Christmas comes early
Secret Spurs Fan
Posts: 871
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Jokes
May 10, 2007 17:18:42 GMT
Post by martin on May 10, 2007 17:18:42 GMT
#banghead#
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Jokes
May 11, 2007 10:32:42 GMT
Post by reg on May 11, 2007 10:32:42 GMT
A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this:
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS:
1) WON'T BEAT ME UP 2) WON'T RUN AWAY 3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail: none seemed to match her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the welcome mat.
Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?"
"Hi," he said, " your search is over, for I'm the man of your dreams. I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away."
"Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied,..... "Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?
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martin
Minor Meet God
Christmas comes early
Secret Spurs Fan
Posts: 871
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Jokes
May 11, 2007 18:01:25 GMT
Post by martin on May 11, 2007 18:01:25 GMT
#laugh# #laugh# #laugh#
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Little*Chick*
'The Big Mini Mod'
Even better than my Mum
x..mwaw..x
Posts: 1,389
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Jokes
May 13, 2007 16:19:29 GMT
Post by Little*Chick* on May 13, 2007 16:19:29 GMT
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading. Man says: "This is the pig I have s*x with when you've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." ;D excellent
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Jokes
May 14, 2007 9:48:24 GMT
Post by specialk on May 14, 2007 9:48:24 GMT
hehehe yes very funny - I sent it to my aussie friends
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Jokes
May 16, 2007 9:39:39 GMT
Post by reg on May 16, 2007 9:39:39 GMT
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and chesse with broccoli."
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.
As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey! I didn't know that Mary worked here!"
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Jokes
May 16, 2007 18:32:02 GMT
Post by specialk on May 16, 2007 18:32:02 GMT
lol ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Jokes
May 17, 2007 11:28:17 GMT
Post by reg on May 17, 2007 11:28:17 GMT
Cheeky monkey A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
"They were smoking marijuana?"
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What else?" The monkey motioned "kissing."
"They were kissing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked."
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.
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Jokes
Jul 19, 2007 17:42:34 GMT
Post by specialk on Jul 19, 2007 17:42:34 GMT
Been reading up on my Ancient Civilizations lately.
A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
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